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Mom Pressure, It’s A Thing: Toddler Edition

mom pressure Wouldn’t it be nice if mom pressure vanished once your child was a toddler? I was just reading over some old mom life posts of mine here on the blog, specifically this one about mom pressure from when Noah was very young.  Noah will be 2 this month. It’s extremley hard to believe, but I thought I would share some ways in which I’ve been feeling mom pressure lately.

CHOOSING A NANNY OR DAYCARE

I’ve made it this long without much help in the childcare department. We have my sister who watches Noah one day a week right now, and then we’ve had her help when we’ve had events, but other than that it’s just been Dylan and I looking after Noah. He’s never been to daycare or been babysat at anyone’s house but ours. Some would say that he’s sheltered, but I would say he’s 2, there isn’t such a thing as sheltered at the age of 2. I have plans of putting him in a daycare when he’s older once I notice he isn’t enjoying his time at home, but he seems to love being at home right now. Dylan and I switch days when we take care of him, and then my sister takes one day. Recently we’ve been interviewing nannies so that we can get help 2 more days of the week. That will give us 3 whole days a week, and I’m already feeling mom pressure about it. Isn’t that crazy!? Mom brain will do crazy things to you!

BIRTHDAY PARTIES

I’m not one to throw lavish birthday parties, and I just have never been. I’m much more of a small, close knit, family get-together kind of girl. Noah literally has about 3 friends his age, so it’s not like we would be having a toddler rager on his second birthday anyway. I don’t have a ton of friends who have kids his age, and I don’t live near family, so it can be hard to find a bunch of buddies for him at this point in his life. I’m in a couple of mom groups on Facebook and so many moms in those groups are stressing over their child’s upcoming second birthday. Honestly I hadn’t even thought about what we would do for Noah’s until I clicked on that group the other day. As soon as I did the mom pressure started pouring in. How could I not already be planning my little guy’s birthday? Such a bad mom, right!? Eek, mom pressure to the max.

REACHING MILESTONES

I’ve literally had other moms tell me that Noah would be saying more words if he went to daycare. That’s a sentence that really gets to me. Um no, he say’s plenty of words for his age, he just doesn’t talk a ton when big groups of people are around yet. I do see other toddlers his age saying more words, but then I also see toddler’s his age saying less words, and I can guarantee every mom out there puts pressure on themselves if their toddler isn’t speaking full on sentences by the time they are two.

One of the biggest things I’ve realized lately when it comes to mom pressure is that it boils down to the amount of information we all have at our fingertips. During my moms generation they didn’t have google to stress them out about the littlest things. They didn’t have Facebook groups where they could browse the life of other moms and their toddlers. They didn’t get invited to multiple online mommy and toddler playdates and stress out about missing them. Obviously they felt mom pressure in some ways, but I think it may have been easier without the massive amount of information we have available at our fingertips today.

The only thing we can do to make it easier on ourselves is to belittle the mom pressure voice inside our head, do our best, and love our kids unconditionally.

Noah’s Joggers  – our favorite pair! // Noah’s Sneakers // Shirt sold out

What mom pressures are you dealing with lately? How have you coped with them? Leave your thoughts for me in the comment section below. Thanks so much for stopping by sweet friends!

XO,

Lee Anne

22 Comments

  1. Anna English on January 6, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Such an informative post! Little Noah isn’t looking so little anymore!

    • Lee Anne on January 6, 2017 at 10:21 am

      He sure isn’t! I wish time would slow down!

  2. candy on January 6, 2017 at 10:33 am

    We lived overseas and away from family for 20 years. No family around. We had plenty of friends but we didn’t have kids for someone else to raise them. Our choice nothing against those who choose different. We had family birthday parties. Meaning mom, dad and kids. Always had a blast. Our kids are raising their kids in the someway.

    • Lee Anne on January 6, 2017 at 4:55 pm

      That sounds great 🙂

  3. Jami on January 6, 2017 at 10:39 am

    So true! And there are only more things that come into play as they get older. It’s so important not to overthink the little things and really focus on what matters most that day. At least, that’s my approach! 🙂

    • Lee Anne on January 6, 2017 at 1:08 pm

      Exactly! Thanks for your sweet comment Jami!

  4. Kaitlyn on January 6, 2017 at 1:45 pm

    I hate mom pressures but this is definitely a real thing. My mom pressure is not going out to do enough things with my child! But he is only almost 12 months, which means his attention span is all but non-existent. Love this post!

    Kaitlyn
    http://www.mypostpartumlife.com

    • Lee Anne on January 6, 2017 at 4:55 pm

      I think we all feel this pressure! We spend a lot of time at home too. Growing up I was at home all of the time and I’m fine, ha 🙂 I’m a homebody!

  5. Casey on January 6, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Ugh mom pressure stresses me out so bad! For me, it was milestones too. Reagan didn’t walk until she was 15 months old and so many people had different theories as to why. Surprisingly (or maybe not) my mother in law was the worst of them! Reagan is also really small for her age and I hate all the comments I get from total strangers about her size. Oh and the fact that I don’t feed her an all organic paleo diet haha

  6. Jessica Sheppard on January 6, 2017 at 7:39 pm

    Girl, such a great post. I don’t have children but it’s so interesting how we all have the same kinds of pressure even though they might be in different areas. Love your insight and wisdom to take the pressure off and just do your best. Perfect advice for all of us! Noah’s a cutie pie.

  7. Krysten on January 6, 2017 at 11:13 pm

    I agree that mom pressure and guilt does not end when they become a toddler. I feel like it may become worse. I always worry about when he is hitting milestones and if his little friends are hitting them before him. I feel guilt about if I am doing enough for/with him (I spend 24/7 with him right now) I feel guilt about wanting to put him into daycare so that I can work more. I get it.
    Thank you for making me feel like I’m not alone.

  8. Chelsea on January 7, 2017 at 1:09 am

    Mom pressure is tough. Everyone thinks they have the answer! The truth is they do, but it’s the right answer for them! Every mom and family has different needs, values, and goals. We should respect and acknowledge the differences, we can learn a lot from one another. I think being a mom is such a difficult job, we all have doubts about our human raising skills and we take it out on each other. As if there is a mom out there that is perfect…

  9. Nicole Leffew on January 7, 2017 at 10:40 am

    I’m not a mom but I can see you guys have a lot of pressures! I feel like as bloggers we have a lot of pressures too so you have a double whammy. You do amazing though girl I love your blog! Xo

  10. Stephanie on January 7, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    Aww I might not be a mom, but I am an aunt, and I see my sister go through these struggles as well with her 8 and 5 year-old boys (funny, she has a Noah as well!) and it can be such a challenge. I definitely hope you can get a chance to calm that “mom brain” down a little bit and reassure yourself that you’re doing a wonderful job parenting and that’s what matters most. No one else’s opinions have a need to be validated, if you know your son is happy and healthy – which he very much seems to be 🙂 You’ve got this!

    Stephanie // SheSawStyle.com

  11. Debbie Savage on January 8, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    My little boy may not be a toddler now but these tips sure apply to relishing the moments with him. Thank you!
    xo Debbie \ http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com

  12. Amanda on January 8, 2017 at 3:29 pm

    I’m not a mom till late March, but I am freaking out about the nursery. All that’s done so far is the paint.

    Xx,
    Amanda || http://www.fortheloveofglitter.com

  13. monic on January 9, 2017 at 10:56 am

    love this post so much!

    Monic

  14. Brittany on January 9, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    I read something the other day from a Mom who decided not to go back to work after her mat leave (we get one year here in Canada) and she said something along the lines of it being because the best place for a child is at home with the parents. How do you think that makes those of us who have their kids in daycare feel! Ugh. I totally agree people need to be less judgmental and more supportive and realize that kids are extremely adaptable and can thrive in many different situations (as long as they are safe, loved, etc)!

  15. Stephanie on January 10, 2017 at 8:19 am

    SO much good info! Noah is adorable!

    xO – Steph
    http://www.UrbanBlonde.com

  16. Maria on January 12, 2017 at 8:50 am

    I’m not a mom but I loved this post!!

  17. L on January 13, 2017 at 1:29 am

    The mom pressure and mom guilt is real!

    These are such great picks lady!

    xo. L
    livingincolorblog.com

  18. L on January 13, 2017 at 1:30 am

    The mom pressure and mom guilt is real! Thanks for your honesty, lady!

    xo. L
    livingincolorblog.com

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