It’s been awhile since I’ve shared anything personal on the blog. In all honesty, it’s easier to talk about clothes. Let’s be real, opening up on the internet can be hard. It can be even harder when it’s about family. Uneasy thoughts rush to my head immediately. Should I share a picture of them online? Should I discuss the things they are going through? Should I talk about our experience with preschool? Should I share my struggles as a mom?
It’s not easy guys…
BUT…. I miss pouring my heart out here.
In all honesty, I used to do this often. I can link a few posts below where I literally poured my motherhood heart out. I found it so therapeutic. I remember the early days when I became a mom for the first time. I shared SO much about it. I talked with you guys about postpartum anxiety, mom guilt, mom pressure, breastfeeding, mastitis, pregnancy struggles, miscarriage… you name it. I talked about it ALL.
Lately, I haven’t.
I’ve been quiet on the motherhood front, and I’m not entirely sure why. I want to share more again, I’m just not sure how.
The older my kids get, the more I find myself wanting to keep things to ourselves. I want to protect my kiddos in this crazy world. I want them to live their life away from the internet, yet I want them to understand what we do for a living. I’m torn. I love when they join us in our Youtube videos. I love sharing them on Instagram stories & in photos, but I have definitely shared less motherhood content over the last year, than I have in the years prior.
I’m not saying I won’t continue to share our family life here.
That will never happen.
I love sharing our journey.
I just don’t find myself sharing as much about motherhood as I used to…..And I truly think that boils down to the “baby stage”. Now.. you guys know where I’m going with the title of this blog post 😉
There’s something about that first year as a mom, or the first year as a second time mom. You can’t help but share it. You’re going through really new experiences that are scary, exciting, and so many other emotions wrapped up into one. It’s such a unique time in life.
Emma will be two years old in August. First of all, HOW? Second of all…
Will we have a third???
Guys… I honestly don’t know. It feels like our family is complete, BUT the weird thing is… initially we thought we would have three kids (before we had kids that is). Dylan and I both come from a family of three. We both have an older sibling, and a younger sibling. Dylan has a brother & a sister, and I have a brother & a sister. We are so lucky. We got the best of both worlds when it came to siblings.
At this exact moment in time, I feel so content. I am SO HAPPY with our family. I am a mom to the best little boy & the best little girl in the world. I am SO fulfilled as a mother.
SO… I don’t really feel the desire to try for another at the moment.
I love our family dynamic.
I look at them, and I think…. “Hmmm.. are they going to wish there was one more sibling during Christmas get togethers as they grow older? I wonder if they will be upset that we didn’t have a third, so that they had another sibling. But… will they? If they don’t know what its like to have a third sibling, will they really care?
I’m not sure….
All I know is I want to spend all of my time loving on these two babies that my husband and I created together. They are everything to me, and if another one joins us someday, it was meant to be.