Putting Each Other First
Putting each other first. It’s a highly talked about topic in marriage and parenting. I remember reading an article about Giuliana and Bill Rancic and how they strongly believe in putting each other and their marriage first before their baby. But what does this mean? I feel like there’s some grey area involved. I’m not an advocate for doing one or the other because I don’t really know where the defining boundaries are, but I do believe that you must consciously think about your partner when the baby comes. I’ve been guilty of being so exhausted every night that I just want to crash right when I put Noah to bed. Sometimes I have to stop myself and realize that maybe Dylan and I should put on a movie, set our phones aside, and have some “us time”.
It’s a guarantee that when your first baby comes into your world your life is going to change in a big way, but that doesn’t mean your relationship should change. This has been on my mind lately because I’ve noticed more little arguments and tension between Dylan and I since Noah has come along. We’re under a lot of pressure because we own our own business and we do contracting work. Nothing about our current work situation is stable and if we don’t hustle everyday we may not be able to continue doing what we’re doing. We sat down last night after putting Noah to bed and had some time to talk about how all of this is affecting us. Being aware of your situation and your partner’s feelings are huge when the baby comes. Sitting down to talk and be open about how you’re feeling is so important. After our talk I decided I was going to blog about the topic and share 3 tips on how you can continue to show your partner your love after baby. I thought this would be beneficial for my readers and also for Dylan and I.
1. Schedule a weekly date night.
Let’s be honest a real out of the house date night may not be possible every week, but you can still have a date night. Plan something fun that you can do one night after you put the kids to bed. For Dylan and I this would look something like making a huge comfy creation on the floor in front of the tv- full of blankets and pillows, cooking up our favorite late night snacks, and putting on a new movie that neither of us have seen. If you can get out of the house once a week by having a babysitter lined up then get out and do something fun that you used to enjoy before baby arrived.
2. Do little things for each other
This doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Sometimes just offering to rub your partner’s shoulders is enough. Doing the dishes, helping with the laundry, letting your partner get out of the house and do something fun for them while you watch the little ones. These small gestures can go a long way and make your partner feel loved and appreciated.
3. Think before speaking
This is pretty huge, especially if you’re stressed out. Maybe your trying to get something done for work, the baby is crying, and you snap at your partner because the tension is high. When you’re in this situation try to take a deep breath and think before you speak. There’s nothing worse than speaking out of stress and frustration.
Have any tips for continuing to show your partner love after baby? I’ll be implementing these into my life and I hope you do too!